Or Best Offer: Part V

Maybe it's all in your head.

‘So you’re telling me that your GPS is haunted?’ asked Bill. He tossed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and chewed with gusto. Eric pressed his forehead to the side of his beer bottle and sighed.

‘I didn’t say that. I’m saying it told me about something before it happened. Twice.’ 

‘That sounds kind of like some bullshit, man,’ said Bill, sounding apologetic. ‘I mean, listen to yourself. Your GPS is predicting the future? Is it going to give us lottery numbers next?’

‘I know how it sounds,’ says Eric. He leaned over the center island and stared past Bill. ‘But it happened, I swear. You know I don’t make shit up.’ Bill nodded. ‘The GPS said there was something in the road, but there wasn’t. Then ten seconds later a goddamn tree almost falls on top of us? Come on, that can’t be a coincidence. Not after the accident.’ 

‘I don’t know, man. What did Gina have to say about it?’ Eric sighed. Bill licked butter from his fingertips before grabbing another handful of popcorn.

‘I didn’t mention it,’ he said. ‘She didn’t notice anything when it was happening. Afterwards she was too rattled to talk about anything. I didn’t want to upset her more than she already was.’ Bill snorted around a mouthful of popcorn, then coughed loudly. He thumped his chest a few times. 

‘You’re not helping your case here, man.’ Eric groaned.

‘I know! I know how this sounds, OK? But it really happened!’ He paused. ‘Maybe it’s from a different dimension. He swirled condensation from the bottle across the center island in idle patterns. 

‘Maybe there’s a glitch in the Matrix,’ suggested Bill. Eric frowned at him. ‘Don’t look at  me like that, OK? I don’t know what you want me to say.’

‘I want you to stop looking at me like I have two heads,’ said Eric. ‘I want you to help me figure this out.’

‘Figure what out?’ asked Bill, exasperated. ‘Why you have this sudden, weird fixation on your GPS?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

 You’re becoming obsessed with this thing. It’s getting really weird and boring.’ 

‘Thanks,’ said Eric. ‘I really appreciate it.’ Bill paused, his hand full of popcorn and halfway to his mouth. His fingers glistened.

‘Hey, I just thought of something,’ he said. ‘What if the GPS is making those things happen? What if those aren’t warnings, they’re threats?’ he asked.

‘Why would it do that?’ asked Eric, alarmed. Bill shrugged, licking his slick lips. A thin sheen of grease glistened as he spoke. 

‘I don’t know, man. You’re the one who’s talking about alternate dimensions. Maybe it just doesn’t like you.’ He inspected his shiny fingers. ‘Why don’t you get rid of it if it freaks you out so much?’

It was, Eric had to admit, a fair question. He no longer enjoyed driving with the GPS; every time he turned it on, he worried there would be another incident. But if he left it off instead, all he could do was wonder about what potential hazards might be on the road ahead. Taking it out of the car entirely wasn’t an option. Getting rid of it wasn’t an option. There had to be a logical explanation - one that Eric could figure out, if he just kept trying.

Eric would sit in his car after getting home from work and inspect the GPS. He pored over the manual until he felt that he could recite it from memory. He had played around with all the features and buttons, studied every inch of it. Nothing gave him any insight. 

At night while Gina snored beside him, Eric sat up for hours on his phone researching the GPS. He’d pored over Reddit, gone deep diving into social media, and even contacted the company that had made the GPS. They’d gone out of business in the intervening years, killed off by apps that made driving directions easy. 

But it all seemed to be for nothing. None of his research brought up anything unusual about the GPS. Nobody else experienced the digital warnings he received - or if they had, they weren’t sharing it with the internet. There were no comments about strange occurrences. The only issue he found was that some customers felt the screen was a bit too dark.

‘I can’t take this anymore,’ Eric said to himself around a mouthful of toothpaste.

‘What?’ asked Gina from the bedroom. 

‘Nothing! I was talking to myself.’ Eric cursed silently, and stared into the mirror. He felt like he hadn’t seen his reflection in a long time. There was something cold in his eyes, a strange detachment he couldn’t identify. 

‘That’s a sign of exhaustion,’ said Gina. ‘Probably from staying up all night playing video games.’

‘I don’t play video games,’ said Eric to his reflection. Gina bustled into the bathroom. She elbowed him away from the mirror. 

‘Apps, then,’ she said. ‘Whatever. You need to work on your sleep hygiene. I keep waking up and you’re farting around on them. I thought you deleted all of them anyway.’ She checked her hair in the mirror and fixed a flyaway.

‘I did. I’m doing research,’ said Eric. ‘For work,’ he added after a beat. Gina smiled.

‘Well, that’s different. I’m glad that you’re working so hard. Maybe you’ll get that next promotion!’ She brushed a kiss against his cheek, leaving a ghostly imprint of her lips. ‘Now remember, I’ll be back from my sister’s tonight, and then we have dinner with the Murphys.’ Eric winced. Gina frowned, but didn’t comment. ‘Take a nap if you can. See you later.’

Eric listened to her heels clack down the hallway. He listened as she stomped down the steps, her tread surprisingly heavy. He listened to the door open and shut. He met his own eyes in the mirror.

‘I can’t take this anymore,’ he said.

The solution, once Eric thought about it, was simple. He would go back to the man he’d purchased the GPS from and demand an explanation in addition to a full refund. If the old man couldn’t or wouldn’t answer, Eric would toss the GPS in the trash. Gina was right; the whole thing had been ridiculous. Probably some unresolved issues from his high school years.

He entered the address for the old man’s home into the GPS without really noticing. But he had to admit, as he followed the route on the map, that he had gotten used to its hulking presence on his dashboard. It felt like another entity, a silent passenger in his vehicle. Sometimes, Eric had the sensation that it was looking back at him when he checked the screen.  

The road to the old man’s house seemed longer than it had last time, even though the weather was clear and fine. He hummed along mindlessly to the radio, driving with one hand as the other hung out the open window. 

An alert popped up on the screen. ‘Incident at destination.’

‘The fuck?’ he asked no one in particular. Eric pulled over to the side of the road to take a closer look. The GPS was showing a bright red circle over the location of the old man’s house. He tapped at the screen. The alert disappeared, then immediately popped up again.

‘Incident at destination.’

‘Shut up,’ he said, his mouth suddenly dry. He unplugged the GPS and watched as the screen went black. Eric was sick. He felt like he’d just taken a life. After a few seconds, he plugged it back in with a shaking hand. The screen flared to life.

‘Incident at destination.’ Eric stabbed at the screen, closing the alert. His finger hovered over the screen. The alert reappeared. Eric helplessly hit every button, biting back a scream of frustration. The GPS kept stubbornly showing the same message.

‘Incident at destination.’ 

‘What does that even mean?’ he demanded. The GPS’ screen flashed again.

‘Incident at destination.’ He whacked it hard with his hand.

‘Stupid piece of crap, of course you break down now.’ The GPS flashed its screen at him, implacable.

‘Incident at destination.’